6 Feet Under (Script)

To read the description for this episode, go to 6 Feet Under.

Script
Pre-intro scene, in the halls.

LOGAN: [V.O.] There comes a time in many people’s lives where they realise they don’t recognise themselves.

'''Slow pan up, to reveal LOGAN, looking considerably cooler than before, in a leather jacket. All the freshman girls stare.'''

LOGAN, cont: They realise that something has changed, and they need to return to their roots. My realisation came the week after Invitationals. I was… With Magnolia, getting closer to a girl than I have ever. Before that, the closest I’d got was Mom licking her thumb, and wiping smudges off my face. Gross. So, I was making out with Magnolia, and I saw myself in the mirror. After my makeover, I just let her take over. She’s been picking my outfits like I’m a dress-up doll, designed to fulfil her every wish, and… Fantasy. Look at me, I look like a greaser. No, I look like Danny, without the alarmingly big collection of lighters, and lightly singed belongings. Or the detentions.

DANNY looks LOGAN up and down, incredulously.

'''LOGAN, cont. (Again):''' Can… Can he read thoughts? Or is he jealous that I’m stealing his look? Anyway, like I said, most people realise this about themselves, at some point, and I have. There’s just one difference. I’m never going back. This is the new, improved Logan. Confident, knows what he wants, and doesn’t answer to anyone. This one’s almost… Cool. Hi, I’m Logan 2.0.

MAGS: Lo-Lo!

LOGAN: [Nervously] Magnolia! Hi! How… How are you?

MAGS: Ugh, terrible. Can you believe Beth gave Viola the solo?

LOGAN: Well… Yeah. She’s got a nice voice, and she’s a soprano—

MAGS: Logan!

LOGAN: No. No, I can’t believe it at all. It’s… Despicable.

MAGS: She’ll never handle it! Did you see her before Invitationals?

LOGAN: Not much, no. She did great with the costumes, though!

MAGS: [Sickly-sweet, through gritted teeth] Lo-Lo…

LOGAN: What? They were amazing.

'''A beat. MAGS glares.'''

LOGAN: I mean… They were okay.

MAGS: One more try.

LOGAN: Awful. They were… Awful.

'''DAMIEN, standing nearby at his locker, shoots TOBIAS a knowing look. TOBIAS fidgets, uncomfortably.'''

TOBIAS: We’re not like that…

DAMIEN: Yeah, and a bunny isn’t like a rabbit.

'''LIAM snorts, amused, though he tries to hide it behind the door of his locker. DAMIEN smiles, and starts to speak, but stops himself.'''

LIAM: Start with ‘hi’, I believe that’s what people do.

DAMIEN: Hi.

LIAM: Hi.

'''Silence follows. The two simply stare, unsure what else to say.'''

LIAM: See you in Glee?

DAMIEN: You know it.

LIAM: Great. Then, bye.

DAMIEN: Short and sweet.

LIAM: [Deadpanned] Aren’t I just?

He gives DAMIEN a tiny smile, and walks away.

TOBIAS: What’s going on with you two?

DAMIEN: Huh? Nothing, why?

TOBIAS: No reason, I guess…

DAMIEN: I think you’re just changing the subject.

TOBIAS: So do I. I mean that… You are.

DAMIEN: Well, neither of us are having much success at it.

TOBIAS: No… End this conversation, never speak of it again, and go to English?

DAMIEN: We still have a while until first period—

TOBIAS: It’s that, or continue this.

DAMIEN: Yeah, let’s go to English! Works for me.

VALERIE: Men…

DAMIEN: Where’d you come from?

TOBIAS: [Mumbled] Hell.

VALERIE: The other side of the hall. Can I get to my locker?

DAMIEN: What’s the magic word?

VALERIE: Please?

DAMIEN: It was actually antidisestablishmentarianism, but you know what? Close enough.

VALERIE glares, unimpressed.

DAMIEN: Hey, I’m letting you, aren’t I?

VALERIE: Oh, I’m so very honoured! I can make your life… H-E-L-L, you know.

DAMIEN: I’m sorry, can you say that again? Spelling isn’t my strong suit.

TOBIAS bites back a grin.

VIOLA: [Softly] Lay off her, Damien.

All parties look to VIOLA, startled, making her shrink back.

DAMIEN: [Still in shock] Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry.

VIOLA: [Equally as shocked] You are?

DAMIEN: Uh-huh.

VIOLA: Then… Then…

DAMIEN: Do I need to reset you?

VIOLA: [Ignoring him] Then say it to her.

DAMIEN: Alright… I’m sorry, Valerie.

VALERIE: Thank you… You’re forgiven.

'''DAMIEN nods, and backs off, hastily followed by TOBIAS. VIOLA and VALERIE break into laughter.'''

VALERIE: That was amazing.

VIOLA: You think so?

VALERIE: You got Damien Russo to do that. He’s 6 feet tall, a junior, a Cheerio, and he’s Damien. It was the best thing I’ve seen in years.

VIOLA grins, shyly.

VALERIE: You don’t get that at Catholic school…

VIOLA: Don’t get what?

VALERIE: Boys. I miss it.

VIOLA: Very valid. You have Math first period, right?

VALERIE: Yeah!

VIOLA: Do you wanna chill until then, and then walk there together?

VALERIE: Yeah, that’d be great! Where should we go?

VIOLA: Anywhere but here?

VALERIE: Perfect.

'''The two walk off. After a moment, VALERIE takes VIOLA’s hand.'''

VIOLA: [Caught off-guard] …Huh?

VALERIE: I, uh… Don’t wanna lose you in the crowd, that’s all!

VIOLA: You’re right, that would be… Bad.

VALERIE: Very bad.

VIOLA: Maybe you should hold it tighter…

VALERIE: Maybe I will. '''Scene 1, SCHUESTER’s car, in tense silence. SCHUESTER drums on the steering wheel, awkwardly.'''

SCHUESTER: So— Uh, how’s—

DANNY: We don’t have to talk, Mom isn’t here.

SCHUESTER: Right…

DANNY: There’s nothing to talk about.

SCHUESTER: I guess not.

DANNY: We don’t even have to say hello when we see each other in the halls. Especially not when there’s anyone around, right?

SCHUESTER: Danny, that’s— No, fine, whatever you want.

DANNY: Since when was any of this about what I want?

SCHUESTER: You’re being unfair.

DANNY: I’M being unfair? Says the man who grounded me for three months!

SCHUESTER: You set fire to a car!

He sighs.

SCHUESTER: Seeing Mr. Benson today?

DANNY: [Concealing a smile] Yeah, why?

SCHUESTER: You need the help.

DANNY: Oh, yeah, I’m a psycho. Satan himself is in this car, ready to burn it to the ground.

SCHUESTER: Daniel!

DANNY: You know what they say about gingers, we have no souls. I sure as hell don’t, I sold it for two cookies in the fifth grade.

SCHUESTER: That’s ridiculous.

DANNY: I know, but the cookies were good.

SCHUESTER: …Anyway, that’s not the point.

DANNY: There’s a point?

SCHUESTER now looks ready to slam his own head into the steering wheel.

SCHUESTER: Will you ever grow up?

DANNY: Over my dead body.

Silence falls.

DANNY: Let's find out just how far I'll go

To look like someone you should know

Maybe I'd sound a little better

If my features were more sweet

Your mind's already been made up

You saw my number and my number wasn't good enough

I'll write a little better

If I'm willing to compete

I'll do it if I have to

Hoping for an inbetween

Not what I meant when I said that I

I wanted to be seen

How am I meant to stay on track

When each hand I shake will pull me back?

Oh, I'll work a little harder

But walk a little less

And in the end will I feel proud

That I grit my teeth,

and followed the damn crowd?

Through the car window, DAMIEN can be seen leaning against a wall.

DANNY: Will I have grown a little empire

Or made a fucking mess?

DANNY & SCHUESTER: I'll do it if I have to

Hoping for an inbetween

Not what I meant when I said that I

I wanted to be seen

I'll do it if I have to               (DAMIEN: I'll keep it to myself,)

Hoping for an inbetween     (I must have seen that somewhere.)

Not what I meant when I said that I

I wanted to be seen.

SCHUESTER: Alright, you should… We should…

DANNY: Bye.

'''He exits, hastily, but blatantly walks away from the school entrance, lighting a cigarette. SCHUESTER sighs, and makes his way into school.'''

DAMIEN: Hey, Principal Schuester.

SCHUESTER: Get to class.

DAMIEN: Sir, yes, sir!

SCHUESTER: You want a detention?

DAMIEN: I’d… Rather not, I’d miss cheer rehearsal.

SCHUESTER: Then watch it. Coach Stanton can’t get around me. This is my school, and what I say goes, alright?

DAMIEN: You got it, boss.

He slinks off, faster than he’s ever gone before, giving SCHUESTER no time to argue further. '''Scene 2, in the halls, later in the day. BETH’s practically bouncing down the corridor to her locker. Her phone vibrates, alerting her to a text from another Cheerio that reads ‘Coach is MAD that you, D and Ophelia skipped practice. Good luck!’ BETH stares at it, eyes wide, until…'''

RICKY: Hey, Beth!

He runs to catch up with her.

RICKY: You sure left fast!

BETH: You know what they say, there’s no rest for the wicked.

RICKY: They say that? Who’s they?

BETH: Don’t worry about it, sweetie.

RICKY lights up at the nickname.

RICKY: It’s getting colder out. Aren’t you freezing in that uniform?

BETH: It’s a little chilly, I guess! I left my jacket in my locker.

RICKY: Here, take mine.

He immediately pulls off his letterman jacket, nearly getting his arm stuck in his haste, and wraps it around BETH’s shoulders.

RICKY: I’ll take your stuff while you put it on right.

BETH hands her books and her bag to him, and he’s startled by the weight.

RICKY: How do you—

BETH: Are they too heavy?

RICKY: No, no, they’re fine! I can handle it. You going to your locker? I’ll carry all this for you.

BETH: Are you sure?

RICKY: Of course I’m sure.

BETH: You really are a sweetie…

I never thought I'd miss you

Half as much as I do

And I never thought I'd feel this way

The way I feel

About you

As soon as I wake up

Every night, every day

I know that it's you I need

To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

Nothing more, nothing less

Love is the best…

RICKY: How can it be that we can

Say so much without words?

Bless you and bless me

Bless the bees

And the birds.

BOTH: I've got to be near you

Every night, every day

I couldn't be happy

Any other way

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

Nothing more, nothing less

Love is the best…

BETH: So… How’s Glee going for you?

RICKY: It’s great! It’s… Hard. Could you, uh… Help me?

BETH: Of course! If you want dance help, then Quentin could—

RICKY: No, I, uh… I want you.

BETH: You do? Oh… Okay, you should come over, and we can get to work! Does tomorrow work?

RICKY: Tomorrow’s perfect. Thank you.

BETH: Anything for you!

BOTH: I’ve got to be near you

Every night, every day

I know that it's you I need

To take the blues away

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

It must be love, love, love

Nothing more, nothing less

Love is the best…

BETH: Well, this is where I get off…

RICKY: Huh?

BETH: My locker?

RICKY: Wh— Oh!

'''BETH takes her belongings back and puts them in the locker. She starts to take RICKY’s letterman jacket off, but he shakes his head.'''

RICKY: No, you keep it, you can give it back when I come over. I keep losing it anyway. I found it in the freezer, last week…

BETH: Your letterman jacket was in your freezer?

RICKY: Sorry, did I say my freezer? I mean Jude’s freezer.

BETH: Oh, that makes… Even less sense. Ricky, how—

The bell rings.

RICKY: No time, Geography awaits. I’ll see you around.

'''He starts to walk away. BETH watches him, dreamily, for a moment.'''

BETH: Hey, Ricky?

RICKY turns, a little too enthusiastically.

RICKY: Uh-huh?

BETH: Geography’s the other way.

RICKY: Oh… Uh, where…?

BETH: I’ll walk with you, it’s on my way to… Also Geography. Are you in Ms. O’Hara’s class?

RICKY: Yeah.

BETH: Why have we never seen each other— Right, you don’t know where it is…

RICKY: Never have. Honestly, probably never will. I’m okay with it, though.

BETH: Don’t be silly, I’ll show you where it is.

RICKY: Okay, I like that better than just wandering the halls. Uh, except for the part with the geography and… Maps and stuff. And rocks, or is that geometry?

BETH: That’s geology.

RICKY: You’re so smart…

They start walking to class. Scene 3, the choir room.

LOGAN: Quen, are you sure about this?

QUENTIN: Of course I am, it’s gonna go fine.

LOGAN: Just fine?!

QUENTIN: Breathe.

SHAWN: Hey, everyone… Uh, has anyone seen…?

IVAN: All the Cheerios and football guys.

SHAWN: Uh-huh…

LIAM: No, not at all… That’s weird, it’s not like D— Uh, any of them…

BLUE: Have you MET Ophelia? Or Jude, actually.

LIAM: Alright, point taken, but you’re a cynical asshole.

BLUE: Thank you.

SEPTEMBER: He’s not wrong.

ALFIE: You can just start, you know. Technically, you’re in charge.

IVAN: Don’t say that, he’ll hide under a chair.

SHAWN: Well, it, uh… It wouldn’t be fair on Beth, so…

ALFIE: So…?

JAMES: Quentin, Tobias, anything?

QUENTIN: Nothing, Mr. B.

'''The five in question rush in. Well, three. JUDE saunters, and OPHELIA quickly tries to hide that she was running.'''

BETH: Sorry, sorry, we’re sorry!

OPHELIA: Speak for yourself.

SHAWN: What’s going on?

BETH: Tell you later. Alright, guys, let’s get started, huh?

'''OPHELIA sits down, mouthing ‘Am I sweating?’ to TOBIAS. He shakes his head, giving her a prolonged kiss.'''

BETH: Jesus, am I invisible?

OPHELIA: Uh-huh…

ALFIE: That’s enough of that.

OPHELIA: [Softly] I beg to differ.

'''TOBIAS smiles against her lips, but reluctantly pulls away. MAGS glares, grabbing LOGAN’s hand.'''

BETH: Alright, Quen, you’re the man with the plan, the floor is yours.

QUENTIN: Love that for me.

He spins to the centre of the room, rehearsal plan in hand.

QUENTIN: So, today we have warmups, physical and vocal, then Misty’s gonna run through some choreo with you, unless you’re doing vocals with me and B. For vocals, you’ll be called in this order. Baritone, Tenor, Alto, Sop 2, Sop 1. If you can read music, and you wanna work on it yourself, then that’s amazing, we’re on limited time. But first and foremost, the lovely Logan has something planned.

'''LOGAN slowly tries to sink into his chair. QUENTIN crosses the room to him.'''

QUENTIN: Lo… Do it, or you’re not getting spaghetti when you come over tonight.

LOGAN: Alright, alright!

He sprints to ‘centrestage’.

LOGAN: This is a song for, uh… Someone special…

MAGS stares, expectantly.

LOGAN: Uh, Magnolia… Hit it.

I have this vice some say is purely fiction

But let me tell you this is one bad addiction

My doctor's spell, a sweet medication

Infects my body it's a beat invasion

It's like somebody slipped me some funky love drug

Electric pulses that I can't unplug

They fill my body with exotic intents

That keeps me charged until my love is spent

I'm under your spell, what a revelation

Like a wishing well, all my dreams are coming true

I wanna scream about this hot emotion

I wanna cause a lot of commotion

Like a new found faith, it's a revelation

My heart is pounding it's a new sensation

I'm under your spell, lover's incantation

Like a wishing well, all my dreams are coming true

I'm under your spell, what a sweet persuasion

Like a wishing well, all my dreams are coming true

Something's come over me

I can feel my pulse increase

A love potion melting me

Stirs me to my feet

I'm under your spell, lover's incantation

Like a wishing well, all my dreams are coming true

I'm under your spell, oh what a sweet persuasion

Like a wishing well, all my dreams are coming true

I'm under your spell, it's a sweet persuasion

Like a wishing well, without a stitch of superstition

I'm under your spell, what a sweet persuasion

Like a wishing well, I'm under, under, under your spell

Ooh ooh, under your spell.

'''He glances to MAGS, hopefully. She kisses him, with a smug smile.'''

MAGS: Good… We need to work on your song choices. You’re meant to be cool, remember?

LOGAN: Oh… Right. Thanks.

BETH: Well, give it up for Logan, everyone! You did great. Quennie, start the warmup?

QUENTIN: Sure.

The football guys and Cheerios approach an intimidated SHAWN.

SHAWN: Hello…

BETH: Hi! Bad news, Mr. L. We’ll have to miss tomorrow’s rehearsal.

JUDE: Coach’s orders.

SHAWN: Oh… Well, don’t worry about it, you can’t help it. I hope you can make the next one.

BETH: So do I…

RICKY: Thanks, Mr. L, you’re the best!

SHAWN: I am?

The five laugh and walk away.

SHAWN: Wait… Rehearsal without Beth? Shit… Scene 4, the teachers’ lounge.

SHAWN: What do I do?

JAMES: Well, the answer’s simple.

SHAWN: It is?!

JAMES: Yeah. You help with rehearsals. It’s not as if you’re alone, Quentin’s still there, but leaving it all to him wouldn’t be fair, there’s a lot of kids, and a lot of work.

SHAWN: But, uh… He has Misty, and—

JAMES: Shawn!

SHAWN: Jamie, I can’t!

JAMES: A, yes you can. B, you kinda have to. You signed up for this.

SHAWN: I mean, yeah, but I didn’t know what I was getting into…

JAMES: And that’s why you always read the small print. In this case, any ominous whispering from Beth and Quentin. And there’s a lot of it, they’re like the twins from The Shining, but with jazz hands.

ALFIE: Terrifying. Oh, bugger, the coffee machine’s broken again?

ISABEL enters with a Starbucks, immensely pleased with herself.

ISABEL: Well, hello.

JAMES: Did you hit the coffee machine with a baseball bat?

ISABEL: Now, why would I do that… Again? If I’d known it was broken, I would have got you something.

ALFIE: No you wouldn’t. Anyway, I hate their coffee, it may as well be chocolate milk.

JAMES: You know they have black coffee, right?

ALFIE: I’ve never had the need for it, there’s a coffee machine right here. Or there was.

ISABEL: Black coffee? You may as well drink dirt.

ALFIE: And the same to you.

'''JAMES rolls his eyes, turning back to SHAWN. Before he can continue, IVAN enters.'''

IVAN: Hey, kiddos. Is that Starbucks?

ISABEL: Uh-huh.

IVAN: Gotta get me some of that on the way home…

ALFIE: I thought better of you, Ivan.

IVAN: Get off my back, it’s delicious.

JAMES: Is this gonna be another hour-long debate?

ALFIE: God, no. A day, at least.

IVAN nods.

ISABEL: Well, I’m a busy person, I’ve got my Cheerios to think of.

JAMES: And we have the Glee Club.

ALFIE: What’s left of it.

SHAWN: Oh God…

JAMES: [Laughing] Shawn, you’re gonna be fine. You’re a big boy, you can handle it.

SHAWN: You think so.

JAMES: I know so. I’ve gotta go clean up my office, and… Find a coffee machine repair guy, will you be okay?

SHAWN: I… Think so?

JAMES: Good to hear. I’ll see you later, okay?

SHAWN: Okay.

JAMES claps him on the shoulder and exits, watched by SHAWN.

SHAWN: Pressure: pushing down on me,

Pressing down on you, no man ask for.

Under pressure that burns a building down,

Splits a family in two,

Puts people on streets.

That's OK.

Cut to the changing rooms, where JUDE’s lying across a bench.

JUDE: That's the terror of knowing

What this world is about.

Watching some good friends screaming,

"Let me out!"

RICKY: Pray tomorrow gets me higher.

BOTH: Pressure on people, people on streets.

Pan to the Cheerios’ changing room.

OPHELIA: Chippin' around, kick my brains 'round the floor.

These are the days: it never rains but it pours.

CHEERIOS: People on streets.

People on streets.

Cut back to SHAWN.

SHAWN: It's the terror of knowing

What this world is about.

Watching some good friends screaming,

"Let me out!"

Tomorrow gets me higher, higher, high!

RICKY & JUDE: Pressure on people, people on streets.

BETH: Turned away from it all like a blind man.

Sat on a fence, but it don't work.

Keep coming up with love, but it's so slashed and torn.

OPHELIA: Why, why, why?!

BOYS: Love, love, love, love, love.

ALL: Insanity laughs under pressure.

We're breaking.

SHAWN: Can't we give ourselves one more chance?

Why can't we give love that one more chance?

Why can't we give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love, give love?

Cut to the football field, as the five make their way out.

JUDE:  'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word,

And love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night,

And love dares you to change our way of [+OPHELIA] caring about ourselves.

[+DAMIEN] This is our last dance.

[+RICKY] This is our last dance.

This is ourselves.

BETH & RICKY: Under pressure.

Under pressure.

BETH: Pressure.

ISABEL: Do I pay you to stand around?

DAMIEN: You don’t pay us, and we’re not standing.

ISABEL: Why do I keep you on the squad?

DAMIEN: Because I’m a big strong man, and I don’t look up the girls’ skirts?

OPHELIA: Standards have slipped?

BETH: He’s cute?

DAMIEN: Thanks, babe.

ISABEL: Well, if any of you want to stay on the squad, you’d better explain yourselves, and it had better be good.

BETH: W-Well, we, uh… We had Glee rehearsal, so—

ISABEL: Did you miss the part where I said ‘it had better be good’?

BETH: Well, I’m the captain, Coach, and we’re preparing for Sectionals…

ISABEL: You’re also the head cheerleader. For now. But that can change very quickly. Ophelia, stop smiling, you skipped practice too, you’re in the same boat as her.

OPHELIA: [Muttered] Yes, Coach.

ISABEL: And?

OPHELIA: [Bitterly] Sorry, Coach…

ISABEL: As you should be. Now grovel, children.

BETH & DAMIEN: We’re sorry, we’re sorry, we’re so sorry!

DAMIEN: Forgive us, Your Greatness!

OPHELIA gets on her knees, staring up at ISABEL.

OPHELIA: [Deadpanned] We’re sorry, don’t kick us, we’ll do better.

BETH stares, eyes wide.

BETH: Ophelia, don’t…

A beat.

OPHELIA: Please don’t kick us, Coach…

ISABEL: Well, this simply will not do, you know that, don’t you? You’ll have to get your… ACT together, won’t you?

ALL 3: Yes, Coach!

ISABEL: If you all promise to get it together and don’t miss any more practice, then… You’re forgiven.

'''The Cheerios sigh in relief. OPHELIA starts to get up.'''

ISABEL: No, stay down there. Drop and give me 20, it’s the final condition. All three of you. And if I hear one complaint—

OPHELIA: You’ll kick us?

ISABEL: No, no. I’ll just tape your lockers shut. And your mouths. And every single textbook I find, which you WILL be fined for.

DAMIEN: Damn, Coach…

ISABEL: Uh-huh. So keep ‘em zipped. Scene 5, in the sophomores’ Math class.

SHAWN: —And that’s, uh… All the time we have for today, it would seem.

The bell rings, and the class immediately start filing out.

SHAWN: Told you. Liam, can I borrow you for a sec?

LIAM glances to SHAWN, then to AUBRI, who gently pushes him forward.

AUBRI: I’ll wait outside.

LIAM: No, you go on, I’ll catch you up.

AUBRI: You sure?

LIAM: Of course, go ahead.

AUBRI exits.

SHAWN: I promise this won’t take long.

LIAM: Good… Uh, just because I don’t really wanna be late.

SHAWN: I know, don’t worry. I just wanted to check on you.

LIAM: Me? Why? I’m fine.

SHAWN: You looked like you were struggling, that’s all. If I’m reading into something that isn’t there, then just tell me, you can be honest.

LIAM hesitates.

SHAWN: Ah… There’s something, huh?

LIAM: A lot of things…

SHAWN: Well, let’s take it one thing at a time, huh? Is the work I’m giving you one of the things?

LIAM: …Uh-huh.

SHAWN: Okay! Thank you for telling me. So, what do you think would help?

LIAM: I don’t think I can be helped, Mr. L.

SHAWN: Hey, I’m sure that’s not true.

LIAM: It is…

SHAWN: No, I know it isn’t.

LIAM: But I’ve been flunking Math since freshman year! Maybe even since middle school! I’m so far beyond hope that hope is a dot somewhere in Cleveland.

SHAWN: No, Liam, trust me, there’s no hope in Cleveland. Flunking Math is not the end of the world, I promise. You still have time to get it together, you’re only a sophomore.

LIAM: [Whined] But I can’t! God, math sucks.

SHAWN: Yeah… I know.

LIAM: Sorry.

SHAWN: No, you weren’t wrong. Look, when I was your age, I was exactly the same!

LIAM stares, confused.

LIAM: How…?

SHAWN: How did I get to where I am?

LIAM: I kinda hoped you’d know.

SHAWN: Me too…

LIAM: What?

SHAWN: I mean, uh, I went for tutoring! For almost a year. By the time I graduated, I was top of my class! Well, second from the top, I couldn’t beat Roseanne Harris… Anyway, my point is it worked.

LIAM: That’s nice and all, Mr. L, and I’m glad it worked out for you, but I don’t know if we can even afford a tutor.

SHAWN: Oh, don’t worry about that. McKinley has a student who does tutoring, and the school pays. I… Don’t actually know who it is yet, but I’ve heard they’re really good at Math especially.

LIAM: But what if it interferes with Glee Club?

SHAWN: It won’t, it’s always halfway through last period. You’ll have a note to get out of class, and you might miss a little bit of Glee, but not much, alright?

LIAM: Alright… I’ll see if I can make it.

SHAWN: Great! Proud of you.

LIAM: You are?

SHAWN: Of course! You’d better get to your next class.

LIAM: Shit, I’d better run.

SHAWN: Don’t worry about it, take your time, I’ll write you a note.

LIAM: Thank you.

SHAWN: No problem, it was my fault anyway.

LIAM: No, thank you for everything.

SHAWN: Oh… Well, again, no problem!

He hastily scribbles a note.

SHAWN: Where you headed?

LIAM: Music.

SHAWN: Mr. Winstanley, right? Should be okay as long as you give him that note.

LIAM: If not?

SHAWN: Oh, he’ll kill you.

LIAM laughs and starts to leave.

LIAM: See you in Glee, Mr. L.

SHAWN: Yeah… See you then. '''Scene 6, the choir room, in prolonged eerie silence. The only adult supervision is ALFIE, leaning back in his chair, staring at his watch.'''

LOGAN: Sure is quiet, huh?

'''MAGS enters, singing. SKY hastily removes his hearing aids, VIOLA tries to hide behind a chair.'''

BLUE: Well, it WAS.

TOBIAS: I wish Ophelia was here…

LYRA: To shut her up?

TOBIAS: Uh-huh…

LIAM: Go get her, it’s an emergency. Did I really just say that about Ophelia?

MAGS: Mr. Winstanley, make them stop!

BLUE: Mr. Winstanley, make her stop.

ALFIE: How about you both stop?

JAMES enters, thoroughly confused and exasperated.

JAMES: Has anyone seen Sh— Mr. Larson? I can’t find him anywhere, so I figured he’d be here already.

QUENTIN: [Distractedly, as he prepares] No… Did you check inside the piano?

JAMES: Quentin…

'''Still, JAMES does briefly look. Only ALFIE notices, snorting with barely concealed laughter.'''

ALFIE: Anything?

JAMES: Nothing distinctly Shawn-shaped. A lot of dust. Hey, where’s Ivan?

ALFIE: Where do you think?

BOTH: Starbucks.

ALFIE: He says he’ll be back to help.

JAMES: Alright… I guess we should get started, right?

QUENTIN: On it, Mr. B.

JAMES: You’re the best, bud.

LYRA: Quentin? Can you go over the section you taught yesterday with me?

QUENTIN: Of course.

LYRA: First off, which way do the arms go on a pas-de-bourree?

They do a very hesitant pas-de-bourree.

QUENTIN: Good technique! But, if the weight’s on the right, the left arm goes forward, okay? Like this.

'''Instead of demonstrating, he moves LYRA’s arms himself. The two stare into each other’s eyes. Into a dream sequence, spotlight on them. SKY, (a more confident) TOBIAS and MISTY, the dancers, sing backup.'''

QUENTIN: So they said what's the problem baby

What's the problem I don't know

Well maybe I'm in love (DANCERS: Love!)

Think about it every time

I think about it

Can't stop thinking 'bout it!

QUENTIN & LYRA: How much longer will it take to cure this?

LYRA: Just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love (DANCERS: Love!)

LYRA: Makes me want to turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love.

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: Turn a little faster.

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: The world will follow after.

ALL: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA:  'Cause everybody's after love.

QUENTIN: So I said I'm a snowball running

Running down into the spring that's coming all this love

Melting under blue skies

Belting out sunlight

Shimmering love.

LYRA: Well baby I surrender

To the [+QUENTIN] strawberry ice cream

Never ever end of all this love

Well I didn't mean to do it

But there's no escaping your love

These lines of lightning

Mean we're never alone,

Never alone, no, no.

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: Move a little closer,

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: I want to hear you whisper,

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: Settle down inside my love.

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: Jump a little higher

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: If you feel a little lighter

DANCERS: Come on, come on!

QUENTIN & LYRA: We were once upon a time in love

We're accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally in love

Accidentally

I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love,

Accidentally

I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love,

I'm in love, I'm in love,

Accidentally—

ALL: Come on, come on

Spin a little tighter

Come on, come on

And the world's a little brighter

Come on, come on

Just get yourself inside her—

QUENTIN: ''Love! I'm in love!''

Snap back to normal.

LYRA: Thanks… Got it.

QUENTIN: Good… Anything else?

LYRA: No, that’s it. Thanks…

'''They return to their place. SKY fixes them with a knowing look.'''

SKY: [Whispered] You know damn well which way the arms go.

LYRA: I do now, yeah.

SKY: You’re fooling no one.

QUENTIN: Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

LYRA: [Dreamily] Just you…

MAGS: You haven’t even started dancing yet.

QUENTIN: Huh, you’re right… I hate that. Okay, I’m gonna fill up my water. Misty, are you good to…?

MISTY: Sure! We’ve gotta discuss the dance solo when you get back.

QUENTIN: Or… Tobias, you okay with a dance solo?

TOBIAS: Sure! I mean, uh… Yeah, guess so.

MISTY: Works for me! Go get your water, Q.

LYRA: I’ll come with.

They run after QUENTIN, without hesitation, just as SHAWN rushes in.

SHAWN: I’m here! I’m here.

ALFIE: Yes, we did notice.

'''The students laugh, barely concealing it. JAMES glares over at ALFIE, briefly, before turning to SHAWN.'''

JAMES: [Hissed] Where were you?

SHAWN: I know, I know, I’m sorry, I chickened out.

JAMES: Shawn… Well, you’re here now. That’s something, I guess.

SHAWN: You’re mad at me?

JAMES: Little bit, yeah. Don’t worry, I’ll get over it, but…

SHAWN: I know. I’ll get it together, I promise.

JAMES: I hope you do.

Before SHAWN can say anything, QUENTIN and LYRA return.

QUENTIN: Alright, let’s get this dance party started! Scene 7, the football field.

ISABEL: Alright, ladies and Damien, that’s enough for today! Get down from the pyramid in an orderly, non-lethal fashion, and get out of my sight. Except for Damien, Ophelia and Beth, I want to see you over here, but out of smelling distance, in 6 seconds flat.

The three sprint over.

BETH: Yes, Coach.

ISABEL: Nope, step back. Good. Decent performance today, missing Glee is clearly good for you.

BETH: Thank y— What?

ISABEL: Oh, Beth, you know as well as I do that it would be ridiculous to continue with it, especially when we’re a favourite for Nationals this year. I need a captain who’s committed. Are you committed, Beth?

OPHELIA: She probably should be…

DAMIEN swats at her.

BETH: Yes, Coach! Of course I am!

ISABEL: To who?

A pause.

ISABEL: I thought so. You all need to have a long, hard think about where your loyalties lie.

OPHELIA: Coach, you can’t stop us doing Glee.

ISABEL: No, that’s true… But I can kick you from the Cheerios if I don’t like what I’m seeing, and I’m not so sure I do.

OPHELIA: [Muttered] Sucks to be you.

DAMIEN: Sucks to be us.

ISABEL: Now, go. Be here tomorrow.

BETH: But, Coach—

ISABEL:  No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. Be here. Go.

BETH: Coach, what about—

ISABEL: I don’t care about your little Glee Club, Corcoran. I loathe glee clubs, with every fibre of my being.

OPHELIA: What DON’T you loathe?

DAMIEN: Jeez, Coach, who hurt you?

ISABEL: Glee Clubs. I believe I said go.

'''The three SPRINT away. Once they’re out of ISABEL’s sight, they return to walking.'''

BETH: This is so unfair!

OPHELIA: Well, they do say school’s meant to prepare you for the adult world. Life isn’t fair, Beth. Deal with it, like the rest of us.

BETH: No, I refuse to be that cynical until I’m at least 21!

DAMIEN: I don’t think there’s much we can do, babe.

BETH: There’s gotta be something! Don’t you care?

DAMIEN: Of course I care. I can’t give up… Glee.

OPHELIA shoots him a knowing look, entirely unimpressed.

OPHELIA: Coach is right, we were in Cheerios long before the club even existed, we have a commitment.

BETH: But, I love Glee…

OPHELIA: Then give up cheerleading.

BETH: I can’t!

OPHELIA: You can’t do both. I warned you about this from the start, remember?

BETH: Don’t you care at all?

OPHELIA hesitates, just for the tiniest second, a flash of sadness in her expression.

OPHELIA: No, not really.

BETH: Ophelia!

OPHELIA: You asked.

DAMIEN: It’s okay, we can go to my place tonight, watch movies and eat ice cream. Uh, my folks aren’t home…

OPHELIA: You don’t say… Sorry, Dami, no luck. You know my mother would kill me. And I have plans, anyway.

BETH: Yeah? What you doing?

OPHELIA: Tobias.

DAMIEN: Oh, so sex is fine, but God forbid you eat ice cream.

OPHELIA: You know how it is. Have fun, though.

BETH: How can I possibly?

OPHELIA: You’ll get over it, B.

BETH: No, I won’t. I don’t want to…

OPHELIA: Fine, be sad, that’s your issue, not mine.

'''At this point, they’re in the hallway. Pan across to RICKY, JUDE and some other jocks.'''

RICKY: I’ve gotta head soon, got rehearsal.

The jocks whistle.

JOCK #1: Rehearsal… Hear that, boys? Ricky’s fancy now.

RICKY: What?

JOCK #1: All… Artistic.

JOCK #2: What you got there, bud?

RICKY: Oh, it’s just my rep folder…

JOCK #1: [Mockingly] Rep folder.

JUDE: Lay off, alright?

JOCK #3: Who did this to you? Corcoran?

RICKY: Yeah, pretty much!

JOCK #3: Soon enough, he’ll be abandoning football and leaving us for the stage.

RICKY: Hey, you never know.

JOCK #1: Glee Club, of all things…

RICKY: Yeah, I was pretty surprised myself!

'''The group laugh, unaware of BETH watching. She storms off.'''

RICKY: [Distantly] No, I shouldn’t—

He continues talking, but BETH doesn’t listen.

RICKY: Beth!

'''He starts to run after her, but she keeps walking until she reaches the choir room. Cut to when the others have arrived. (LIAM and DAMIEN are absent.)'''

BETH: Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table

While I look outside

So many things I'd say if only I were able

But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You've got opinions, man

We're all entitled to 'em, but I never asked

So let me thank you for your time,

And try not to waste anymore of mine

And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I'm not drowning

There's no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent

Swear you know best

But you expect me to jump up on board with you

And ride off into your delusional sunset

Cut to LIAM walking down the halls to tutoring.

BETH: I'm not the one who's lost with no direction

But you'll never see

You're so busy making masks with my name on them in all caps

You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

'''Cut back to the choir room. BETH glares straight at RICKY.'''

BETH: All my life I've tried to make everybody happy

While I just hurt and hide

Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?

You are not me

Who made you king of anything?

So you dare tell me who to be?

Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe…

Roll credits.